When you love, you project. You love not in order to give – you love in order to take, you love in order to exploit. When you love a person you start trying to fix the person according to you, according to your ideas. Every husband is doing that, every wife is doing that, every friend is doing that. You go on trying to change the other, the real, and the real cannot be changed – you will only get frustrated.
The real cannot be changed – only your dream will be shattered and then you will feel hurt. You don’t listen to reality. Nobody is here to fulfil your dream. Everybody is here to fulfil his own destiny, his own reality.
Love and hate both give colour to your eyes and then you cannot see clearly. If you love a person, you start seeing things which are not there. No woman is as beautiful as you think she is when you love her, because you project. You have a dream-girl in the mind and that dream-girl is projected. Somehow the real girl only functions as a screen.
That is why every love comes to a frustrating point sooner or later, because how can the girl go on playing the screen? She is a real person; she will assert, she will say, “I am not a screen”. How long can she go on fitting in with your projections? Sooner or later you feel they don’t fit. In the beginning she yielded; in the beginning you yielded. You were a projection – screen for her; she was a projection – screen for you. . . . Nobody can play a screen for you forever because it is uncomfortable. How can somebody adjust to your dream? He or she has his or her own reality, and the reality asserts.
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